Emotions are complex and tricky. Without them life would not feel worthwhile, but sometimes they get unruly and really cause problems! It can feel like our emotions are in the driver's seat of our life, steering our reactions and decisions. It's natural for emotions to influence us, but when they start controlling our actions, it’s important to find ways to regain balance and perspective.
Understanding Emotional Highjacking
Emotions driving the bus, or "emotional hijacking," occurs when intense emotions overwhelm our rational thinking and lead to impulsive actions or decisions. This can be triggered by stress, unresolved issues, or external pressures, and often, we end up reacting in ways that might not align with our intentions or long-term goals. This is not weakness, it is biology. When we are hijacked we quite literally lose access to our thinking brain. While the best therapeutic approach to emotional hijacking is DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), there are a few things you can do for yourself right away:
Steps to Take Back the Wheel
Pause and Identify: The first step is to recognize when you're beginning to feel hijacked by your emotions. A simple pause can provide the space necessary to start identifying what you’re feeling and why.
Deep, Slow Breathing: Engage in deep breathing exercises to help reduce the intensity of your emotions. This can slow down the heart rate and allow the rational part of your brain to catch up with your emotional responses. Focus on a nice, slow exhale to really calm things down.
Reflect, Don’t React: Give yourself time to reflect on what triggered your emotions. Ask yourself whether your immediate reaction will help or hinder your situation. This reflection can help you respond more thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
Communicate Effectively: When emotions are high, communication can become strained. It's best to not try to communicate until you feel more calm. Once you do feel more regulated, expressing how you feel in a clear, calm manner can prevent misunderstandings and reduce emotional tension.
Seek Perspective: Sometimes, discussing your feelings with a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist can provide new perspectives and help you see solutions that weren’t apparent before.
Reflection Questions:
How do you first notice when your emotions begin to take control?
What kinds of consequences have you experienced when this happens?
Do you have specific strategies that help you become grounded and regulated again?
Emotions are beautiful and necessary. We want them to be a part of life, but not necessarily be making decisions for us!
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